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The Art of Procrastination
Address Book
Reference: Bartleby - Dictionary
Fun: WFUV - Moron's Almanac - IMDB
Tarot: Eclectic - Biddy - ata - 101
Art: George Pratt - Tom Kidd
Authors: Chris Crutcher - Jane Yolen - Fileg - Ray Bradbury - Cruisedirector - Molly Bang
May 2005
Sun, May. 15th, 2005 12:31 am
Two things happened today that have so ticked me off, I felt the need to make an entry in my LJ. I am still uncertain which I’m angrier about, so I’ll simply list them chronologically.

Several weeks ago, I contacted Comcast because I could no longer stand the fact that my remote was broken. I had previously asked for a replacement from a repairman when he was here – but he refused to provide one, saying I should replace the batteries. Not having batteries in the house at the time, there was no way to prove him wrong, so he left and after replacing the batteries that didn’t need replacing, my remote still didn’t work, that is I could no longer use it for the TV or volume. When I called in, I explained that my remote was no longer working properly. After listening to their recommendation that it simply required new batteries, I insisted that it was time to send me a new frigging remote. They agreed with only two or three attempts to talk me out of putting them to the trouble.

A few weeks ago the remote came. I programmed in my VCR and TV, then the cable box. The VCR came on, the TV came on and the cable box came on. Hot damn. So I parked myself on the couch for an evening of one remote TV viewing. I wanted to cruise the guide - I pressed the button labeled guide and got the guide. Scrolled down to a show and pressed info and got info. The music came up on an advert in the background and I pressed the volume down button and the volume went down. I was a very happy camper… I went to page down through the guide and the volume went up. The page stayed the same. I scrolled to another page and found a show, I pressed enter and the channel went to the first music channel. I could have sworn I chose Law and Order, SVU. I hit guide again, found SVU, hit enter and was again listening to classic disco – something I didn’t listen to even before it became a classic. Oh well, the remote looked good in the remote basket.

I was bored this morning and called Comcast Customer Service to discuss my basic dislike of disco and ask if the they had any suggestions on how to avoid it while still using my new and improved remote. Charles asked for my account info, knew what cable box I had – I mean he knew the actual, correct cable box. He then asked which remote I had been sent and asked if I would be willing to try to reprogram it with him. Sure, I was bored, had nothing better to do. So I pressed the buttons as he instructed. After the first test of the reprogrammed remote, I was again listening to disco. I turned it way up with my page down button, so Charles could enjoy it with me. He offered to send me a new remote, or the opportunity to try reprogramming it with me one more time. I was happy to press buttons if he was willing to listen to disco. He didn’t hang up at the suggestion, so again I pressed along to Charles’ instructions. But this time the planets aligned or something because I could no longer turn the volume down by paging up and when I went into the guide and pressed enter, sadly I was watching The Care Bears Movie. The remote now worked.

I had no choice but to thank Charles. He works for Comcast and I had to THANK him! Life sucks…

Then -

This evening I went to Barnes and Noble. I know, but honestly, I had a good reason. Harry Potter is coming out while I am on my annual whale-watching weekend with my nieces. Both Dan and I are hopelessly addicted and need to have the book on the day of release. There is a Barnes and Noble in Holyoke, MA where I will be meeting Becca, my other niece, for the last leg of the drive to Boston. We will be on a tight schedule that day and this would be the easiest place to pick up the books. I could not find an easy way to order it for pick at that store on-line and I was going to be near B&N this evening anyway, so into the store I went.

I am accustomed to being ignored for at least the first ten minutes at their customer service desk, so that didn’t really bother me. But when I was told by the customer service dude that he didn’t know how to reserve the book for me at another store location, I was taken by surprise. He was kind enough to look up the telephone number in a store directory and give it to me so that I could call long distance and order the damn things myself. As I walked around the store browsing for a couple of other books I wanted, I became more and more pissed. It isn’t as if every chain on the planet isn’t offering a huge discount on this particular book – there is actual competition for my money. He couldn’t pick up the damn telephone and call another B&N? I did go back to the desk once more to ask if they had a book I couldn’t find. When he finally came back to the desk to assist, he did tell me they didn’t have it, which considering his lack of enthusiasm in having to actually type something into the computer was nice of him.

There has to be a Walmart in Holyoke, right?


Tue, Jan. 4th, 2005 02:09 pm

I have been cooking on my own since I was seven. Without being too specific about my age, I freely admit that a few decades have passed since then. While I eat beef and some fish raw, and have been known to eat raw egg - mixed into cookie dough- the mere thought of eating a runny egg does unwelcome things to my stomach. So, even though I can successfully produce a souffle, I have never had to make a soft boiled egg.

Until this week, I never thought I would have the need. I am a firm believer in not cooking something I cannot eat - unless in the cause of true love. (The reason I once learned how to clean and prepare fresh squid.) My mom can and does cook anything, and she does it remarkably well, thus I never thought I would have to cook something special for her. But, she has been unwell and asked for a soft-boiled egg.

One might ask how hard this could be to accomplish? The Good Housekeeping Cookbook (!957, black-covered edition - our family bible) said to place a room temperature egg in cold water, bring to a rapid boil and then time for two minutes, serving immediately. So, I stoked the fire - wood stove in winter at my Mom’s - and when good and hot, put the pot of water on the stove and placed the egg in. After carefully timing 120 seconds once a full boil was reached, I pulled out the egg, dumped the water and took it into my Mom who found a not quite hard boiled egg - not what she really wanted.

She suggested that I finish it in the microwave and make egg salad for lunch.

Back to the stove and stoking fire portion of the exercise, I decided that I should take the next egg out after one minute. Once done, I then had two eggs for the upcoming luncheon special of the day. I then decided that I would cheat with impunity, Mom was in bed after all and wouldn’t know that I chose to light the “summer” stove (gas range, to the rest of the world). My thought was to skip the stoking, simply bring the water to a boil first and then add the egg, cooking it for 2 minutes should produce an egg that had a wet white and a runny yolk.

This worked perfectly for the runny yolk part, sadly, it also left the “white” mostly clear and equally as runny. How can boiling an egg for 2 minutes produce a basically raw product?

At least I had stopped dumping the water and was able to begin again almost immediately. The next egg was boiled for three minutes. While it looked fairly disgusting to me, I was pretty certain this was what my Mom had in mind. So, I took it into her with a piece of pumpernickel toast. Success! She ate it gratefully. And asked for another.

I could learn how to catch squid...


Mon, Nov. 22nd, 2004 11:19 pm

Three of Swords

by Ken Heyman
from the ICP exhibit "Collaborations"

Hurt feelings, disappointment and heartbreak; loneliness, isolation, rejection; misplaced trust, broken vows, betrayal. These are especially harsh when coming unexpectedly while surrounded by those closest to you. No matter your age or experience, there is always a loss of innocence that accompanies these emotions. The holes they leave do heal and will likely make you stronger, but there is grief and the mourning is never easy.

Whether thoughtlessly or purposefully, words spoken, gestures made, periods of neglect pierce a heart quickly and deeply. The recipient is not always the only one wounded. Have a care.

Years ago, my bud, Tay, and I began collecting images that we thought would make good tarot cards. Most of mine had been post cards. About seven years ago, I thought I had lost about ten years worth during a move. Two weeks ago I found the stash and while I am pleased to have back close to 75 cards, there were three that had proved to be irreplaceable. This was one of them.


Tue, Sep. 7th, 2004 09:29 pm

So far I am not doing well at all on my resolution of keeping this journal going.
I went to Boston for a week of vacation. Each summer, I take my niece for a weekend, this year it was two nieces, Becca who is almost 8 and Dani who just turned 10. Usually Dani and I go for a whale watch or a museum trip. This year the Lord of the Rings exhibit is at the Museum of Science in Boston, so we decided to extend our weekend and see the exhibit - three squee fans girls that we are...
Since we were going to be at the museum anyway, I decided to buy an annual membership and take advantage of the included free passes to the Omni Theater and Planetarium. We were also able to get discounted Duck Tour tickets. The whale watch was still on and both Dani and I wanted to go back to Chunky's, a cinema/pub in Haverhill we had discovered a year earlier - on the trip where our car was stolen and we were trapped in the hotel next door. Also planned was a trip to the Peabody-Essex Museum in Salem, as well as the Witch museum. The last being a mistake. But, more on each later.
So - we were on our second day of touring the Science Museum and had just made our way down to the 1st floor of the Blue Wing. The third gallery we stopped at was the "collections" gallery. There are collections of stuffed birds, turtles, butterflies, sea shells, leaves, skulls, rocks and minerals... cabinets and drawers and displays enough to keep us busy for hours, if we had the time. But, outside this particular gallery is a glass wall display showing samples of the types of things people collect. There was a doll collection, a shell collection, typical stuff and fun. Then we saw a collection that stopped us cold. Jaws dropped and eyes bugged. There was a silent pause for contemplation of the possibility of mass hallucination or perhaps the loss of sanity. Then the three of us bust a collective gut and burst out laughing. And for this you will need visual aids...

Spartacluck? Eye Ronic Show Chix? What were they thinking??? My god, the pink flamingo swizzle stick as a quarterstaff was inspired - not to mention completely demented. The "toe" rings are a bit over the top - but a chicken with a belly button jewel is just wrong.


Sun, Aug. 8th, 2004 05:45 pm
After taking half a year away from LJ and writing I have made a promise to myself to get back into both, well at least a bit...

These images from Return of the King grabbed my subconscious on Tuesday December 16, 2003 and have been rattling around for months. Watcher on the Heights is what came out.

I am so happy to have written anything, it has been months since I have been able to. I would like to thank my betas, Fileg and Edrys, for both their generosity and superior skill.


Thu, Jan. 8th, 2004 11:31 pm
Just wanted to post something...

So here is another Julia Older poem, this one is from her collection Higher Latitudes


His gaunt and stricken
body moves,
a shadow
of the silent bow.

The permutation of pain
is poetry.

His Adam’s apple
strokes the throat
like fingertips
on fiddle strings.

The permutation of poetry
is love.

His sandaled feet
stomp out the wound
and then, one night
the tune, the jig.


Tue, Jan. 6th, 2004 06:23 pm


Wizard's Map
by Gustaf Fjelstrom

This is a luck card. It indicates something bestowed; for good or ill, huge or minute, tangible or ethereal, momentarily or long term. All aspects are determined without the recipient having any control, or even any influence. It is not something that can be prepared for, nor should it.
So, sit back and remember that the wheel is in constant motion. Be grateful for the good things and comforted that even the not good things will pass, eventually.
From the image I have chosen, you might infer that I am not sanguine about this card... and that would be correct. I tend to be a bit distrustful of anything that lands in my lap, that rose / thorn analogy always pops to mind. Who knew I was so cynical?


Mon, Jan. 5th, 2004 08:37 pm
This was my last day off before having to start back to work in the new year. I spent it surrounding myself with my holiday swag. On my desk sits a very cool Morpheus in his red over-stuffed chair and a miniature bouquet of porcelain irises. Next to me is my new 12 inch Legolas action figure (he is patiently awaiting his bud Aragorn, who is at this moment flying in from Canada. When he arrives, the two of them are going to throw away that damned necklace and settle down happily together.) My lips taste like Sugar Babies because of way cool lip balm. I watched 5 episodes of Bordertown and all of Ned Kelly - thank god for Australian media, and especially for the friend who know enough to get it for me. And I am currently copying my ROTK soundtrack so that I can keep a copy of it at work.

A ham, bacon and pineapple pizza is on its way and should arrive about the time Wire in the Blood starts - Robson Greene is so hot! This has been an awesome Monday...

I am trying to convince myself that when I get to work tomorrow I will be productive.


Sun, Jan. 4th, 2004 08:36 pm
Just catching up...

gacked from one of my yahoo groups:

Orlando's Hair
You are the Proud owner of Orlando Bloom's Hair! It's always changing (but always lovely) so you've certainly got a good deal going. Whether your fav look is his mohawk, his Legolas look, or his beautiful brown hair, enjoy running your hands through it!

Which part of Orlando Bloom's body do you own?
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gacked from Cruisedirector sorry...
Emma Goldman mugshot!
You are Emma Goldman!
You are the mama of Anarchist/Communist feminism and you
inspired millions to embrace the labor movement.
Without ever directly saying so, you directed
efforts toward saving wymyn and children
from exploitation. Oh yeah, you were also a total sexpot!

Which Western feminist icon are

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and from Undonne

You have an entrancing kiss~ the
kind that leaves your partner bedazzled and maybe even
feeling he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the
kiss that never lessens and always blows your partner away
like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?

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I am The Hermit

The Hermit often suggests a need for time alone - a period of reflection when distractions are limited. In times of action and high energy, he stands for the still center that must be created for balance. He can also indicate that withdrawal or retreat is advised for the moment. In addition, the Hermit can represent seeking of all kinds, especially for deeper understanding or the truth of a situation. "Seek, and ye shall find," we have been told, and so the Hermit stands for guidance as well. We can receive help from wise teachers, and, in turn, help others as we progress.

For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate.

Month: Day: Year:


Sat, Jan. 3rd, 2004 03:51 pm

I have decided to make a new Major Arcana card for my deck…

by Quint Buchholz

Knowledge garnered is, as my heart sister repeatedly reminds me, a double-edged sword. We are so much more with it, yet there will always be moments when too little, too much, or simply the wrong bit will cut deeply.

This lamp stands tall and proud, it shines forth with both power and strength. Yet it stands isolated. It can guide us through times of darkness and lead us home despite dangerous waters. But it can also draw us like a moth to its flame and blind us to the shoals.

This card, more than any other for me, encompasses each of the four elements and possesses all of the blessings and dangers of each. Gather as much as you can and always remember to temper its use with wisdom.